Hello
My name is Neil and I came to the Lord in 1998 age 18

The old me would go out with friends drinking just to get drunk. I couldn’t talk without swearing or making some smutty remark. I had a collection of hunting and throwing knives a crossbow and air guns. I was a bit of a gun nut. I was never in a gang. Just not a very nice person, Hating everything and everyone especially myself. Someone who I thought was a friend got sent to prison. Myself and some friends used his empty house as a drinking den. We would spend the weekends there just getting drunk throwing up then drinking more. It was at this time that I suggested doing a Ouija board for a laugh. We wrote the alphabet down on a table and sat around with a upturned glass in the centre, then the glass started to move. At first I thought it was someone round the table messing about but soon realised it was for real. It seemed at first to be fun but became addictive we would spend all day and late into the evenings on it. But Soon after it turned scary, doors would fly open then slam shut, lights would turn on and off and there would be a bad smell in the house that we couldn’t account for. Some of us could feel a presence in the house that was intimidating and oppressive. It was then that we decided to stop playing the Ouija board. That night some of my friends wanted to stay at the house but I decided to go home. I had a phone call late that same night from those staying in the house, saying that there was violent banging coming from upstairs and they needed to get out of the house. It was then that I told my parents what I had been doing, they weren’t pleased but said that my friends could stay the night. It was an half hour walk to the house, by the time I got there everyone was outside the house in a panic. On the way to my house we passed a vicarage, I plucked up the courage to knock on the door to ask for help. But when the vicar opened the door all he said was ( What time do you call this? Go away and come back in the morning) we never went back.
The next day we went back to the house and it was trashed, all the doors and windows were locked but inside it was like it had been burgled yet nothing was missing. Even after this I never believed there was a God.
A few weeks after this I was watching a breakfast program I think it was ( Ann and Nick) It had a woman on, who clamed you could talk to your guardian angel through automatic righting another occult practice. So I decided to have a go, again it started out good. I would ask a question and then get an answer, but like the Ouija board it soon turned bad. I would have terrible nightmares I would try anything not to sleep. When doing automatic righting I would receive threats to my life from the devil or something from the devil telling me to kill myself. On one occasion I felt hands on the back of my shoulders pressing down hard. I was pale and withdrawn and close to killing myself. Then one night when I was at my lowest point I thought if there’s a devil then there must be a God. I said God if you are real HELP ME, the second after that prayer something felt different, I cant explain how, I just felt different. The next night I remembered that I had a small red bible in the attic of my house. It was a Gideon bible that was given to me at school, I intended to throw it away the day it was given to me but thankfully it ended up in my attic. When I opened it and started to read I was shocked and amazed the words leaped out of the page at me. That second I got down on my knees as it just dawned on me that God was and is REAL. I could feel the presence of God fill my room, it felt like God was standing in front of me, he new everything about me, he could see through me there was no hiding place for me to hide and nowhere to run. Then all the bad things I had done and said came into my mind and I felt a sense of dread and fear come over me like I had never felt before. When dabbling in the occult I felt terror and fear but the fear that I felt before God was infinitely greater. It felt like I was about to be condemned. I started asking God for mercy and forgiveness and repented of all the things that I had ever done. In that instant I felt the love of God flow over me, through me, under me and around me, I was bathed in the love, mercy and grace of God. I new he loved me and excepted me just the way I was. I never cried before like I cried that night, Tears of absolute love and joy.
The following morning I knew I needed help to overcome what I had been through dabbling in the occult. I still felt suicidal and was full of fear. I didn’t now where to go or what to do. I got onto my push bike and rode past the local churches I said to God that one day I would go in there.
That same night my fears and worries got worse, it was about 1am and I couldn’t take it any more. I went into my parents bedroom and woke them up I just kept saying I need to see a vicar. My parents aren’t Christians. My mom mentioned the vicar that turned me away before (their was now way I would go back to see him) My dad knew another local vicar from his time helping at the local scouts group. So at 1:30am a phone call went out to the vicar, I was expecting to be fobbed off like before but he said come strait over. I didn’t know what to expect I just new I needed help. When I got to the vicarage I was met by Rev David Stevenson and his wife Diane they seemed genuine nothing like the one who turned me away. They took me into a side room where I explained to them what I had been doing and what I had witnessed. To my amazement they actually believed what I was saying. They told me about Jesus and ministered to me. They then prayed over me. The next morning Rev David came to see me. He spoke to me of the absolute power that God has over the devil, that the devil is a defeated enemy he prayed for me and encouraged me read my bible and to go to church. I can clearly remember the first time I went to church, I was nervous and apprehensive as well as embarrassed but everyone excepted me strait away and put me at ease. It was a long battle to overcome with many late night phone calls to the vicarage and many hours spent with Rev David and with his wife Diane. There were times when I wanted to sleep in the church for protection at other times I felt like giving up.

I can clearly remember two dreams that God gave to encourage me in the early days of my Christian walk. The first one I was hanging onto a vertical rock face with Rev David beside me. I’m fearful that I’m going to fall to my death when Rev David says Jesus is telling you to let go. When I let go of the rock face I didn’t fall to my death I just stand their in mid air. Then I hear the words trust in Jesus.

The second I’m sitting on a large book going up the side of a volcano moving over the molten rock. Its glowing red hot with flames flickering around I thought I was going to burn because of the intense heat when I look down at the book I see that it is the bible then I hear the words Trust in Gods word.

I am so thankful to David and Diane Stevenson for encouraging and supporting me during the early days of my faith. I can say for certain I would not have made it without their help. It is so important for new believers to have true mature christians to call on. It can make the difference between standing and falling

I am constantly amazed at the love, mercy and grace of God

No matter how many times you fail or fall HE is always watching over you to help you. If only you call

If you are struggling just keep on going and dont give up. Give it to God in prayer. He will give you the strengh to carry on.

Jesus loves you and will not let go of you.

Nothing can seperate us from the love of God.

God bless